MS: Busting the Myths
May 13, 2025 | Life with MS, News, Resources, Symptoms
If you’re someone living with multiple sclerosis (MS), then you’re well aware of the numerous outwardly noticeable ways it affects your day-to-day life. You may have support from friends, family or professionals, and hopefully feel able to talk about the majority of your needs.
However, one aspect of your condition that may be difficult to discuss is the impact that MS has on your sex life – despite sexual wellness being a core part of your health and wellbeing. Because of the private nature of this topic, it can be hard to know what to do when you encounter difficulties related to your MS in the bedroom.
Firstly, remember that you’re not alone. MS can cause changes to libido, changed sensation in the genitals, difficulties with orgasm, fatigue, muscle weakness and mental challenges such as anxiety and lack of self-esteem. None of this means you can’t enjoy a fulfilling sexual relationship, but your symptoms may mean that you need to make some adjustments.
In this post, we share three tips for improving your sexual relationship when living with MS.
Good communication before, during and after sex is a skill that everyone should try to work on. As someone with MS, it’s even more important, as you’ll likely have specific needs that need to be met in order for you to be able to relax and enjoy yourself. Additionally, you may already feel vulnerable about being in a sexual situation, so it’s crucial that your experiences are positive and that you take care of your sexual health.
Of course, you may not choose to discuss the details of your MS with a casual sexual partner, but if they’re long term, it can be good to consider talking about it. Try to focus on explaining what you would like to happen, how you like to be touched and any boundaries rather than explaining what your partner is doing wrong. You could come up with a way of letting your partner know that you want to stop, or need to change something in the moment, so that you feel able to express your needs without it ruining the mood.
While there’s no need to be embarrassed, some people do find it difficult to open up about the topic of sex. If you’re struggling to have this conversation, why not consider writing down your feelings and communicating them that way? Alternatively, sitting facing away from your partner may allow you to feel close to them without having to worry about your respective facial expressions.
Penetrative sex is not the only option, nor should orgasm always be the focus. If you’re finding it hard to enjoy sex because your mind is always stuck on these goals, try to take the pressure off by trying out different sensual experiences with your partner.
For example, massage or using toys can be great ways to have a sexual relationship without making you feel anxious. There’s no right or wrong way to have sex: it’s all about what you and your partner enjoy and feel comfortable with. Switching things up and trying something new can also be a great way to keep your spark alive.
In many cases, your loved one may also spend some of their time being your carer. This can create a tricky dynamic – they may help with your physical needs on a daily basis, but then they also need to cross an invisible barrier to become your sexual partner.
If this is causing difficulties, then you may want to think about employing a professional for your personal needs, to create some separation. If this isn’t possible, then think about what cues you could use to set the mood and take the dynamic from practical to sexy – lighting, music or even just spending time together beforehand can all ensure that they feel like your romantic partner rather than your carer during sex.
Physical intimacy is an important part of life for many people, including those with MS. To make this experience as enjoyable as possible, work with your partner to discover what feels good, as well as establishing a way to communicate your needs before, during and after sex. Being intimate with your partner can be a great way to build your relationship outside of your care needs, as well as boosting your confidence and overall wellbeing.
Article written by Amelia Johnson – May 2025. Image from Unsplash